10. Use it to wrap dead fish that will float in from Horseshoe Shoal

9. Saute it in leaking transformer oil - with a little salt water

8. Make it into a life raft for sea ducks, plovers, and terns that will be zapped by the rotors

7. Grind it into food for out of work fishermen

6. Sell it aboard the high speed ferries as Nantucket Sound flotation devises

5. Convert it into barf bags for passengers aboard airplanes that will have to soar and dip around the turbines

4. Use it as a deflector for confused radar at PAVE PAWS

3. Transform it into novelty sun visors for tourists who will flee the Cape and Islands for New Jersey

2. Issue it in paperback with a revised title, "Breaking Wind"

1. Burn it for fuel in Jim Gordon's Chelsea diesel power plant