Los Angeles named the 'smelliest' city in the world, but Paris is the 'worst smelling'

Michael Santo's picture

We smell a rat, and smog, and garbage, and more: Los Angeles, Calif. has been named the smelliest city in the world.

That's right, as GQ calls it, not only is Los Angeles the smelliest city in America, it is the smeliiest city on the entire planet. Here's how GQ described the odoriferous Southern California city:

"L.A. is one of the most bizarre places on Earth, and it has an equally singular smell. The clear, alluring track of its scent is arresting. There's the ocean breeze from Santa Monica that can travel as far East as Silver Lake; a dry desert air that comes West over Downtown and South Central; the astringent balm of eucalyptus, pine, honeysuckle, and jasmine from the hills; and car exhaust from catalytic converters, which is, in its strange industrial way, beautiful. It's like the jolt of a drug: shifting, comforting, cool like a blanket. The lonely smell of the marine layer burns off and you get this flashy perfume of hot asphalt, engines, and sun block that you can find nowhere but in L.A."

Los Angelinos might accuse GQ of having its odor receptors overloaded by all of the cologne / perfume ads in their magazine, but others might agree with the mag. Certainly, it's been said it's easy to tell when you have reached the Los Angeles city limits. That's when a traveler might start to wheeze.

While Los Angeles sits at No. 1, the remainder of the top 10 includes:

No. 2: Pleasantville, NY. It's name belies its placement as the No. 2 smelliest city on the planet.
No. 3: New Orleans , La.
No. 4: San Francisco, Calif. Despite the sea breezes you might think would clear out the mustiness, the answer is no.
No. 5: Rome, Italy
No. 6: Bogotá, Columbia
No. 7: Mumbai, India
No. 8: Mombasa, Kenya
No. 9: London, U.K.
No. 10: Dallas, Tx.

To be clear, GQ differentiates between smelliest and worst-smelling. We ourselves don't get it, but they do. They have picked Paris, France as the "worst smelling city" in the world. It's an honor, we are sure, that will make the French hate U.S. (Magazines) more than the already do.

"Let's just start off with the breath. The oral care standards of Parisians are utterly unlike any I've ever known. Thanks to their pack-or-more-a-day cigarette habits, every other person smells like smoke-cured human bacon. You smell coffee, but not the fresh stuff in the cup --- the smell of it in someone's mouth four hours later. Then there's the repulsive odor that wafts from the RER train system. If Satan farted, it would be a little like this sulfurous cocktail of burning photocopies and fried electrical wires. Sure, the gourmand perfume of fresh croissants, butter, and baked flour spills onto the street. But take a few more steps and you're smacked in the face by the equally fresh smell of dog sh*t. If you close your eyes, you discover the marketing of Paris --- that whole "city of light" garbage that's eagerly swallowed by tourists—is really nothing but a lie."

"City of Light" vs. "City of Angels," both are equally smacked down by GQ.

Image Source: Wikimedia Commons

Add new comment