By Maria Croce

LACK of sleep can lead to serious relationship rows and ongoing tiredness at work when new parents return to their jobs, a new survey has revealed.

The poll for Mother & Baby Magazine and Huggies, shows that half of all mums with a new baby say sleep starvation has put their relationship under strain and caused rows, with one in 10 admitting they've almost split up. Not surprisingly, 94 per cent of modern mums say they prefer sleep to sex.

Mums in Scotland only get on average three hours sleep a night, while their partner still manages to clock up seven hours. However loudly babies cry somehow they don't seem to wake up men. Only 23 per cent of dads wake up when their baby cries, a further 24 per cent only wake up after a hefty nudge and 63 per cent simply slumber on.

Dads in Scotland are the most likely in the UK to help put baby to bed but 56 per cent hardly ever or never get up to help settle the baby during the night. Scots, in particular, are fans of hi-tech gadgets to monitor babies. Around 17 per cent rig up a video monitor of their baby in its cot and 77 per cent buy a two-way baby alarm.

But monitors that are meant to put parents' minds at rest can mean mums never switch off from their babies.

And mums who return to work in Scotland during the first year of motherhood are the most likely to say they have to take days off due to sleep deprivation.

Dads in Scotland are the most likely to drink alcohol in a bid to get more sleep, while one in 10 wears ear plugs.

But on the positive side, mums in Scotland are most likely to have a willing mum or mum-in-law who will look after the baby overnight and give them time off to catch up on sleep.

According to the research, in our own parents' day mums enjoyed six hours sleep, managing without all mod cons.

Lack of sleep seems to be one of the biggest problems for new mums, with three hours being the average during the first four months - but 30 per cent get even less than this. And mums still only average five hours sleep a night when their baby is 18 months old.

The research also shows a relationship is twice as likely to fall apart following the arrival of a baby if the mum gets less than four hours sleep a night.

Elena Dalrymple, editor of Mother & Baby Magazine says: "Just as a watched kettle never boils, so a watched baby never sleeps and rigging up baby monitors could be a step too far. The pressure parents find themselves under is enormous, especially mums.

"It is primarily mums who do the night time baby duty yet many are also back at work full-time by the time baby is six months. Dads need to get out of bed in the early hours and pull their weight.

"Ultimately, parents-to-be have no idea how the lack of sleep a baby brings will devastate their lives. If you're only getting three hours sleep night after night and sometimes less, you'll most likely take your frustration and anger out on your partner.

"It's amazing so many relationships survive the onslaught of a baby, although sadly, some never recover.

"It's shameful so many dads don't get up during the night because, if parents work as a team they can get through this difficult time more harmoniously."

MUM'S THE WORD

SIX out of 10 grandmas appear to have plenty of advice on getting baby to bed. This include leaving the baby to cry, giving the baby a dummy and putting the baby on solids earlier. However only 22 per cent of mums think their mother's advice is right and only five per cent think their mother-in-law is right.

'Dads need to get out of bed in the early hours and pull their weight' - Daily Records