Bad Bosses! Everyone's Had One (Or 5)

Who hasn't had a boss from hell? Check out TheImproper.com's 20 tales of woe!

Abraham Lincoln once said, "If you want to test a man's character, give him power." No where is the truth of that statement more evident than in the workplace. Power invariably brings with it a sense of empowerment, and to quote another famous saw, "power corrupts."

In this day and age, laws are on the books outlawing discrimination based on race, sex, age, national origin and physical impairment. And every so often a company pays a steep price for the biased acts of some employee or manager. But no law exists to protect employees from simple inconsiderate, degrading bad behavior. And, these days, the work-a-day world seems to be fraught with it.

We were inspired by the new movie "The Devil Wears Prada," to ask writers to tell us their tales of woe. We don't have space to print them all. But here is a representative sampling. Almost all of us will be able to identify with one, or more, of these anecdotes. So rest assured, you are not alone. And, if we're lucky, maybe one or more of those bad bosses will identify with them, too.

Counter-Productive Behavior

As I moved to the bacon egg and cheese drawer, his hand grazed against my ass. Being fifteen and stupid, I backed away and ignored it. After all, it was crowded and narrow behind the counter. He wouldn't have grabbed it intentionally, would he? That would be seriously disgusting. He was in his thirties. He barked at us again. As I took a woman's change, he pushed past me, his hand definitely grabbing me this time. He stared at me with cruel eyes, daring me to stay anything. I didn't. I quit the next day.

- Lindsay Kaplan

Hopewell Junction, NY

Rocket Man

My worst boss was a piggish man. He was the fourth manager in the first two weeks of a newly opened Johnny Rockets in Forest Hills, Queens. One day he called me "princess." I said, "I don't like being called that." He replied, "That's why I said it." Too bad he didn't resemble a frog. I don't think that kissing a piggish man would make any prince out of him.

- Julia L. Bonsignore

Reality Check

As an independent contractor, the customer is a boss of sorts. I'm in sales. What do I sell? Lap dances. A customer calls me over, and he leans in like we were about to share a very intimate secret. He points to the dressing room and says, "What really goes on in there, baby?" You know he has visions of a decadent lesbian orgy. And because he asked me a stupid ass question, I lean in and share a secret with him. "Behind that door," I tell him, "we fasten our wigs and cover our stretch marks with cake makeup, we change our tampons; complain about that guy who came in his pants, and complain some more about our kids, our bills and our deadbeat boyfriends. Oh yeah, and the toilet only flushes half of the time. So, would you like to buy a lap dance now?

- Tigerlily

The stripper who keeps it real.

Blood Oath

My internationally infamous boss needed a yearly visa, as he constantly travels to a certain former Iron-Curtain country. In order to apply, one must prove HIV negative status with a copy of blood test results. A co-worker was asked to PhotoShop my boss's outdated results to make the HIV test appear current. I am ashamed to say that I didn't refuse to take the paperwork to the embassy.

- Name Withheld

When Nepotism Rules

The bride was the sister to the wife of the owner of the company, and the groom became my boss. Like all managers dragged hopelessly out of their depth by the good fortune of an undeserved promotion, he had no idea how to manage himself, let alone other people. All he had to offer were snide threats and empty management gobbledygook. The only thing in his favor was a supreme talent for destroying a reasonably successful company. When things inevitably did get messy and the company went kaput, the whole family broke up. Apparently, their children no longer exchange Christmas cards.

- Matt Nunn

Analyze This

I was recently divorced - a single parent in serious need of a job. I answered the ad with high hopes that this job would be a great situation. It quickly turned into a nightmare. Calls at all hours of the night, constant emails, being followed each time I went on a coffee break and tracked even when I used the toilet. I was bombarded with comments such as, "You are not an intellectual," "Are you not literate?" and my all-time favorite, "You have to put me first in your life." For all my boss's intellectual pursuits, she was, in essence, not very smart when it came to human interaction. This is quite amusing considering that, besides being a published author, she is a Clinical Psychologist.

- Lee Ginsberg

Passing the Buck

One particular micromanaging boss visited my cube every two to five minutes. Frazzled, panicked and on the verge of an anxiety attack she would ask, "What are you working on right now?" She gave me instructions on multiple post-it notes in illegible loopy hieroglyphs, or in a spitfire verbal list of responsibilities. She changed the order of priority a few times; then asked me five times if I was done when I hadn't even had a chance to get to them yet. This gave her ammunition to blame our department's failures on me.

- Margie Monin

Orange, CA

Money Matters

The first moment I realized my boss was a total jerk was when he literally stole my tips from three different tables that I had been waiting on. I caught him stashing the bills in his pockets out of the corner of my eye. Then, he matter-of-factly stated that he had not seen any money on the tables while making his usual rounds. While I carefully repeated my conviction, he immediately cut me off saying that he "couldn't understand what I was saying" and walked away.

- Jordan Parker

Sense of Entitlement

When I worked at a filthy downtown bookstore in 2001, my manager was aware of her favorable position. She was objectively an attractive, tall, thin, white woman, with blue eyes and long, wavy dark hair. Rumors held that her family was wealthy. I was fascinated by her sense of entitlement. She once rifled through the desk of an employee who had questioned her authority. She admonished blacks more frequently for talking too loudly, or not working hard enough. When the union approached her about this, she sardonically replied, "Fine! I'll write up more white people."

- Diane Macaraeg

A Lout at Law

I landed a killer clerking position with a very prominent white collar crime attorney, based on a promise from my new boss that I would leave knowing all there is to know about the legal process. Instead, I was stuck in a cubicle researching. When I asked for advice, I was told to figure it out myself. Every time I walked into his office, I was examined like a piece of meat, and he had the audacity to come to my cubicle to tell profane jokes. I told him to go to hell and walked out. To beat it all, he chased me into the hallway to tell me I had to come in on Friday to pick up my final paycheck.

- Stephanie Hambley

Thoughtless and Cheap

One day at work, some clients came in to talk about redesigning our website. So there are two of them and me and my boss. My boss doesn't reserve a conference room, so all four of us are forced to smash into his small office and sit around his computer screen. Then my boss proceeds to take his shoes off, put his feet on the desk and crack his toes during the entire presentation. Then, he invites them out to lunch and takes them to an Au Bon Pain for $6 sandwiches - and makes them pay!

- Name Withheld

Going to the Dogs

I joined an architectural firm with projects such as 125-foot yachts and the lobbies of apartment buildings on Central Park West. The principal architect ignored [his dog] Lucy, but insisted that someone in the office walk her each day. We were told not to have more than half-full garbage cans, because Lucy picked through them. Every few days in our open office, my boss would spend a few minutes clipping his toenails, a few feet away from where we sat. On my last day, I emailed him an unsolicited "exit interview" about his repulsive behavior.

- Name Withheld

Maid to Order

I was hired to do license compliance for the state at an early childhood center. I should have known better. My boss expected me to do personal errands, dress up like a gorilla for her grandson's birthday party while making balloon animals, and clean the bathrooms and reception area floors. The final straw? She took a night deposit sack, forgot that she left it in her car, and accused me of stealing the money. Days later, when she found it, she just mumbled: "Here's the deposit slip." No apology. I had the last laugh, resigning without notice.

- R. E. Woods

Executive Perks

My boss was already three hours late when she called me on the telephone. "I need you to pick me up," she said. It turns out that she went to happy hour the night before with her boss. An hour turned into the whole night, she got drunk and he put her up in a pink motel. She woke up alone, hung over and couldn't remember where she left her car. She also couldn't call her boss and ask him for fear his wife would suspect. Karma can be a bitch. She got fired soon afterwards for unsatisfactory job performance, and her boss got a promotion. Go figure.

- Christina

Meter Maid

My worst boss ever was a server and manager at his big brother's three-star restaurant. He would reserve all of the big-spending customers for himself. He was the greediest and most miserly individual I've ever met. He worked in beat-up Payless shoes and wore white shirts with holes in them, even though he made over a grand a week. Once he made me go downtown with him between shifts to 'help' him run some errands. My job? Wait in the car and move it if a parking cop came by. That way he could avoid paying the meter.

- Ryan McGlynn

Minute by Minute

My day started at promptly 9 am. A swipe card was required for entry to my office. Being late twice in one month, even by a few minutes, meant a memo to your file. My workweek was 45 hours long. Personal phone calls were limited to 10 minutes per day - that's ten one-minute calls, or one 10-minute call. Ten and a half minutes warranted a memo. If [my boss] was not certain a call was personal, she would dial the number herself and hang up. I quit shortly after I told her my job description did not include fetching coffee.

- Nikki-Jo Grossman

Missed Signals

I used to work in the Men's underwear department. The "bad boss" fawned over the boys but took an instant dislike to me, the only other girl. A silent catfight ensued. I was banished to a part of the store called "the box," named for its Siberia-like isolation. When the time came for employee evaluations, she responded to me gruffly, then turned to a fellow male employee and cooed. He hardly ever worked and spent most of the time fraternizing with other clerks. Two words describe her problem, no gaydar.

- Frieda Luk

One of the Boys

A card carrying Boys Club Member, my boss only had a few females on his staff, one of which I was unlucky enough to be. He would go a week without speaking to you or clearing out his inbox so he could receive new emails. Then he'd freak out when a client called with a question, and he desperately needed to be brought up to speed. He'd make sexually derogative comments about our one female client and expect you, as a female, to laugh along. I delivered my resignation letter after only four months.

- Z. Madison

Punctuation Marks

After just one week working for the loudest, most arrogant, and least liked senior vice president on Wall Street my rude awakening was complete. This guy really thinks I like him. He really thinks he is a good guy. His voice is serene as he recounts every detail of his trip to Europe. It is hard to believe that just twenty minutes before he was on his twelfth tirade of the day screaming, "Get in here, and tell me what you did wrong this time!" Before I could answer he said, "I'll tell you what you did. I asked you to put this line in bold and you put it in italics. ITALICS GODAMNIT!"

- Rachel Doherty

Better Late Than Never

I worked as a receptionist for a glitzy art magazine. My boss roared in each morning flinging briefcases, shoes and jewelry. One day I was on my way up to the office when the elevator cables broke. I managed to slam my hand on the emergency button, causing the elevator to bounce to a stop in between the second and third floors. We were stuck in the elevator for three hours. When finally freed, I went to my office shaking and pale, and explained what happened. My boss's response was, "You're late. I'm docking you three hours pay."

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